Forget backyard chickens. The perfect pet for your urban homestead is a jar of sourdough starter.
Like chickens, a sourdough starter will thrive on a diet of grain and water, fluff up with excitement when you feed it, and reward you by producing delicious, healthy food for your family.
But unlike chickens, sourdough does not get mites. It does not get egg-bound, requiring you to do unspeakable things to its nether regions. It doesn’t wake your neighbors, eat your garden, attract predatory raccoons, or require you to clean poopy straw out of its home.
Also, once it gets settled, you only have to feed your sourdough starter once a week or so.
And if you’re worried that a jar of sourdough starter isn’t as cute as fluffy little chickens, just get creative — instead of slashing your loaves before you bake them, use scissors to snip them into little gargoyles and critters.
See? Just as cute as chickens.